Peak Fly Season!

It is peak fly season here in Deming. Every time you open your garage, come into the house from outside or from the garage, the bastards get in. My neighbor Joe's weapon of choice is his electric tennis racket.....he just swings at them and they get electrocuted. I go with the traditional fly swatter. I kill about three or so a day, and Dottie Girl catches a few of them along with spiders and anything else that crawls along her path. Dumb ass mugsy is useless. Sitting out side is horrid, especially if you have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. They like that. The first year we where here, I put out these special fly traps that they crawl into and drown. Problem is, the damn things were like fly magnets. Within three days each one had a couple hundred flies in them, and stunk like a shitpile. So, I gave up that idea.
Now, the worst of the worst though, are the female deer flies. these get me when I go running. Today it was overcast and mid eighties with a light breeze to start with, so I went out to get my first 13K run of the year in. Things went well for about 50 minutes, bye then I was well lathered up with slimy sweat my liquid essence, and all of a sudden, the breeze died off. I was running on trails along natural gas lines, and I passed a dead jackelope. As soon as I got bye it, the damn female deer flies got on my mid back and hamstring and started biting the shit out of me. Now female deer flies have two pairs of fine cutting blades in their mouth that lacerate the skin and cause blood to flow, which both male and female flies lap up. Hurts like a mother. I got my 13K in, and immediately came home dabbed the bites with peroxide and followed up with cortisone gel. They got me with 4 really good bites. Flying freakin' vampires!
I was thinking about my sister in law a bit while I was running and was reminded of a quote bye my old buddy Raylon Givens from Justified, so I thought I would just add it here.......