When 5 Months Feel Like 5 Years!

On monday, I had my monitor inserted for the next three years of recording. They numb you with novocaine, then drive this under your skin like a big needle, and then press the plunger to drive the device under the skin of your chest. Doctor makes you wear a cover over your face so you don't move....I wanted to watch, but no go. When doc came into the catheter room, he made a joke that he was just watching a video to learn how to do this. My cardiologist is a freakin joker. For whatever reason, maybe the lidocaine, my BP went crazy for an hour or so after. Wouldn't let me leave until it came down. It is higher in general since the ablation. I have had to double my lisinopril (have a lot extra) until I see my regular doc in may. They glue the incision shut, so you have to be a bit careful for a few days. Also, no heavy lifting. Slightly swollen, bruised, and sore. There is a base station next to the bed that takes the days data, loads it, and sends it to some guy in india who sumarizes it and  sends it to the doctor.  
I get a new echo done on wed 4/12 to see if my ejection fraction improves from 38% on my birthday when I was in flutter and afib. 50% would be normal for my age, so since I am still in afib, hope I at least get closer. Doc says that my month of holter monitoring showed that I was in afib about two percent of the time. He still has faith that I will improve more over the next 5 weeks of the blanking period. I am just all doubts. I am expecting, at a minimum, a second ablation. I am also in the early stages of cardiomyopathy, so the afib may just be secondary to that. I was considering going to Phoenix to get a full cardio workup, but my doc said wait until we see the second echo results. As I told Deb tonight, I don't want my whole life to be dealing with this illness and staring at my wrist to see what my heart is doing. That would just not be a life worth living. So if someone tells me I am suffering heart failure, I will throw the watch away and just try to enjoy the days that remain. Carpe Deum.