Woody Allen once said "I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens". After my near demise from pericardial tamponade, I understand that quote perfectly. Pericardial tamponade is where you get a massive buildup of fluid inside the sac around your heart that presses on your heart and attempts to stop it. Mine occurred from a small screw which was used to anchor the pacemaker lead into my atrium that punctured it. When I was last awake in the ER awaiting a decision on weather they were going to attempt to put a needle assisted drain in my heart or cut thru my ribs and open a drain window in the sac, I just wanted to be sedated and not be around for whatever the result was. I awoke with a drain port about two inches above my naval, and a bag full of about 10 ounces of blood and fluid. I ended up being drained for 5 days before it was safe to remove the needle. That felt like something from a horror movie where you see someones heart pulled thru their chest. Fun stuff. So to the surprise of my cardiologist, cardiac surgeon, and electro physiologist, die I didn't do. I had an echo performed last wednesday to see if any further fluid has accumulated. I will have to call in for the results, although the tech said it looked good. Also, I have a pocket hematoma of dried blood where the pacemaker was implanted, that I have to apply heat to 4 times a day to try and get my body to absorb it. Also fun stuff. So mentally I feel a bit fragile, and a bit non engaged in what is going on around me. Odd.....hope it ends soon. Also have had lots of crazy ass anxiety dreams. Hope that also ends soon.
When the Medtronic man saw me last to test that everything is in place and firing when it is supposed to, he told me that he thought I was held together by scars and tatoos. Haha....I think he might just be right. Lost 13 pounds during the 8 days I went from pacemaker implant to being released from heart sac draining. Got about 3 back, and in no hurry to get the other 10. My shorts fit comfortably again. Worst part of the aftermath, is I feel weak and dizzy. All the meds I have to take, and there were 4 new ones for a week or so, have dizziness and fatigue as the number one common side effect. That hasn't helped. I have walked for 40 minutes on an inclined treadmill every day since the second day after coming home. Hopefully will get over the standing dizzies and fatigue and start to garner some strength back soon. In the meantime, the assisted beat goes on......
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